Adult Women Playing with Dollies

Posted by Jenny Jerkface

I tried not to be judgmental when I read this article. I failed. Miserably. The snarky bitch has taken over completely.

Many people like to stop and play with newborn babies, but now some
adult women are playing house with fake babies.

I cannot even fathom why an adult woman with all her faculties would find nurturing a dolly satisfying. I've tried to come up with a myriad of logical reasons how this behavior might be remotely justifiable but I'm drawing a blank. Now, I'm certainly not a psychiatrist but these women seem mentally unsound to me.

First of all, it's one thing to pretend to be a mommy when you're five years old. If I started walking around dressed like a princess people would think I have some toys in the attic, no? Well, same thing applies here.

This is not the same thing as acting like a rock star while playing Guitar Hero. However, if I started walking around in spandex, insisting you call me Vince Neil, then we'll talk. This kind of behavior is willfully delusional.

Forty-nine-year-old Linda is married with no children of her own. Now, she
says she feels like a mother because she has Reborns -- dolls made to look and
feel like the real thing.

Yup, bat shit crazy. It's a doll, lady. It's not real. You can drop her down a flight of stairs or throw her in the bottom of your closet and no one will call children's services on you. I don't care if it has a battery operated breathing mechanism - it's not a living, breathing thing.

You can pretend to be a mommy all you want but I hope you realize just how irrational that is. You're not. It's a freakin inanimate object, for fuck's sake.

"It's not a crazy habit, like, you know, drinking, or some sort of,
something that's going to hurt you. It's like a hobby.and it doesn't really hurt
anybody," Linda said.

First of all, yes, it is fucking crazy. This hobby (if by hobby you mean mental disorder) ranks pretty high on the weirdness scale.

I can think of a few scenarios where this behavior does have the potential to hurt someone. What if a woman becomes so attached to her baby that she stops interacting with real people? What if she starts to focus more on the doll than her own grown children? Or husband?

Some women are even going as far as taking day trips with the fake
babies to the park, out to eat, and even hosting birthday parties for
them.

How exactly does one react to a woman with a fake baby? Am I supposed to play along with your weird delusion? I have to be honest - I'd have an extremely hard time keeping a straight face if I ever walked in on a fake-baby birthday party. In fact, I'm pretty sure there would be laughing and pointing involved.

And these Reborns ain't cheap! Some of them will cost you about $150.00. Here's a novel idea - donate the money to a children's organization and support a starving child in a third world country. Become a mentor, or a Big Sister. Hell, even adopting a cat or dog seems more reasonable than dropping a few bills on a fucking doll's birthday party.

I don't have children so maybe I can't understand the draw of pretending to be a mother to a fake baby. I can understand people treating their pets like children. I do it with my Gizmo sometimes. But animals are, oh, I don't know, alive. The animal depends on you to survive and gives affection (Rumor has it even cats are affectionate but I've yet to see it). Animals interact with their owners and have their own personality traits. A doll does not.