Letter to the president

Posted by JCE

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Dear President Bush,

I've been following your regime and wanted to write to let you know that I am a huge fan of yours. Your consistent ability to manipulate the law in order to provide the biggest benefit of power to yourself is outstanding! I truly admire the many accomplishments you have made in this regard especially when one considers just how many safeguards were put in place to prevent this very thing from happening. You are a true inspiration!

One thing has been bothering me, though, and I feel you should address this issue as quickly as possible. The first amendment to the constitution must be repealed immediately. You need to do this now before it is too late! Surely you can see where the whole "freedom of speech" thing is hindering your ability to do your job as a dictator properly and without it you would be so much more effective.

No more would those pesky press people be able to leak information to the public - you would have total control over the information released. The public does not need to know about your gross misconduct anyway. Mistakes are bound to happen in your job and you don't need to explain them or apologize for them. I'm sure you were only doing what you thought was best. Sometimes it is necessary to lie and cheat in order to retain control, right? I understand, believe me! You and I both know that the public doesn't really care about much other than Britney Spears anyway - hell, most of them don't even know what the constitution says! They probably wouldn't even notice anyway.

This simple gesture would clear the way for you to retain power and improve the lives of millions in this country. You could once and for all declare this a christian nation and rid us of those pesky "others". I know you have been trying your best to accomplish this with your faith-based initiative programs, but those damn secularists keep getting in the way of progress. They even go so far as to cite references to our founding fathers and their intent. First of all, intents can be changed - I mean, life changes right? Circumstances should dictate the intent of the constitution and it is plain as day that we are in desperate need of a unifying force such as delusional belief in a god. What better way to control people than to invoke a pavolv's dog response to god? Secondly, for all those naysayers, you just tell them that you were the one elected president, not them and you should know better than any of them how to interpret the constitution and I am sure you are fully aware of it's history. We must have faith that you know what you are doing! It is as simple as that!

Your true brother in arms,
In-Fidel (Castro)

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